Baseball, Family, and Jesus: Coughlin's of 1960's

The above photo, scanned and sent to me by my brother Kevin, shows what life was like in my house and in my neighborhood in the early 1960's. Top left and clockwise, Buster Zylowski, Denny Coughlin, Kevin Coughlin, Jackie Zylowski, Mary Ellen Coughlin, and fine baseball player, Bobby Coughlin. The Sacred Heart of Jesus looks over it all. Tag-team wrestling probably broke out right after this photo was taken.

Ash Wednesday Poem

The Last Ash Wednesday (February 2003)

After teaching my classes,
I drive over to Kevin’s house
Where Mom now lives after moving from Euclid
Our family home for fifty-one years.

It’s getting harder for her to go out,
So I come to her house,
Burn last year’s palm fronds in the ash tray

And anoint her forehead with the Sign of the Cross.

I find myself unable to utter the ancient words,
“Remember, Woman, from dust thou art,
And unto dust thou shallt return.”

The words are too painful, too real,
The abiding dust
too close.

Then Mom anoints my own forehead,
Again leaving the words unspoken:

No one can ever know . . . .

After the little ceremony,
We both laugh, and Mom says,
“Let’s drink a beer!”

“Not on Ash Wednesday,” I tease.

“The hell with that!” she retorts.
“I’m old enough now to be above the rules!”

We both laugh, and I pop open two beers.
We drink to Mardi Gras and to Lent,
And to the ashes on our foreheads.

[Bob Coughlin
February 21, 2007
Ash Wednesday]

Skiing in and around Austria: Stubaital and Zugspitze

[Image above is the mountain at the end of the Stubai glacier called "Zuckerhuettl," one of Austria's tallest peaks, on the Austrian-Italian border. Tim Forward and I climbed this mountain.]

In the spring of 1968, my friends and I did some interesting skiing outside of Innsbruck, Austria. One day, Bob Wingerson, Tom Forward, and I (and possibly one or two other guys) went skiing on the glacier on the great Zugspitze, on the German-Austrian border. That day was so warm that we took off our shirts and skied for a while shirtless. Somewhere we have photos of this wonderful day of skiing. On another day, Tim and I borrowed seal skins from Liselotte Schartner or Caecilia Werth and headed up to the end of Stubaital for an incredible weekend adventure. The seal skins were long, thin skins that fit over the tips of skis and then ran underneath the length of them. Because of the grain of the skin, you could actually walk uphill--and that's what we planned to do--walk up the Stubai Glacier to the great mountain called Zuckerhuettl, one of Austria's highest and most spectacular mountains, right on the Austrian-Italian border.

On the first day of this adventure, Tim and I took a train up to the very end of the Stubaital (Stubai Valley). From there, we hiked uphill for many hours until we came to one of the mountain huts that exist all over the Austrian alps. This place might have been called a hut, but it was really a substantial structure that could accommodate maybe 20 or so guests, sleeping on Matratzen placed one next to the other. The hut even offered simple meals--and, of course, beer! Someone had to port all these things up the mountain (or maybe there was some sort of utility lift that moved the food, beer, and other supplies up to the hut). So Tim and I spent the night there (probably for about a dollar) and then left early the next morning to climb up the glacier to the top of Zuckerhuettl.

It was a perfectly clear day as we climbed up the mountain. The seal skins worked perfectly, and after a couple hours we reached a ridge that we couldn't ski over. We took off our skis, climbed over the ridge, then proceeded with our journey. The sun was really totally unfiltered, with no clouds, and it reflected off the snow. Tim and I were smart enough to wear tinted ski goggles--but not smart enough to wear any kind of sun screen. It hadn't entered our minds. And Tim, with his fair skin, would pay a price for this later.

After another couple hours hiking up the glacier, we arrived at the foot of the final "horn" (as in Matter-horn). The peak of Zuckerhuettl was a very steep glacier-carved horn, and we had to climb the last 100 yards or so by foot. So we removed our skis, and began the last difficult climb. If I remember correctly, there was a rope that we could grasp on this last trek.

After 15 to 30 minutes, we arrived at the top of the great mountain, and looked over the entire Stubai Valley, the vast glacier, the many peaks. Looking down the steep south slope of Zuckerhuettl, basically a cliff hundreds, maybe thousands of feet in length, we looked into Italian territory.

Tim and I were at the top of the world!

Then we skied down the glacier. It was a long, spectacular ride down the glacier (except for the middle ridge, which again involved a little climbing). After about an hour or so, we were back at the mountain hut. And a couple hours later, we were at the base of the mountain, catching the last train back to Innsbruck.

The next day, Tim paid the price for wearing no sunscreen . His face and lips were badly sunburned. His face looked like a raccoon's (because his eyes were protected from the sun by ski goggles). Somehow my darker complexion saved me from a terrible sunburn.

The sunburn was soon healed and forgotten and Tim and I were left in indelible memories of our trek up Zuckerhuettl.

"Survivor" & Teachers

I don't know who composed this, but I think it's appropriate in light of our governor's attacks on school teachers. It's one of those pieces circulating via email:


Next Season on Survivor

Have you heard about the next planned Survivor show? Three businessmen and three businesswomen will be dropped in an elementary school classroom for 1 school year. Each business person will be provided with a copy of his/her school district's curriculum, and a class of 20-30 students. Each class will have a minimum of five learning-disabled children, three with A.D.H.D., one gifted child, and two who speak limited English. Three students will be labeled with severe behavior problems.

Each business person must complete lesson plans at least 3 days in advance, with annotations for curriculum objectives. and they will have to modify, organize, or create their materials accordingly. They will be required to teach students, handle misconduct, implement technology, document attendance, write referrals, correct homework, make bulletin boards, compute grades, complete report cards, document benchmarks, communicate with parents, and arrange parent conferences. They must also stand in their doorway between class changes to monitor the hallways. In addition, they will complete fire drills, tornado drills, and Code Red drills for shooting attacks each month.

The business people will have to attend workshops, faculty meetings, and attend curriculum development meetings. They must also tutor students who are behind and strive to get their 2 non-English speaking children proficient enough to take the language proficiency tests. If they are sick or having a bad day, they must not let it show. Each day they must incorporate reading, writing, math, science, and social studies into the program. They must maintain discipline and provide an educationally stimulating environment to motivate students at all times.

If all students do not wish to cooperate, work, or learn, the teacher will be held responsible.

The business people will only have access to the public golf course on the weekends, but with their new salary, they will not be able to afford it.

There will be no access to vendors who want to take them out to lunch, and lunch will be limited to thirty minutes, which is not counted as part of their work day. The business people will be permitted to use a student restroom, as long as another Survivor candidate can supervise their class.

If the copier is operable, they may make copies of necessary materials before, or after, school. However, they cannot surpass their monthly limit of copies.

The business people must continually advance their education, at their expense, and on their own time.

The winner of this season of Survivor will be allowed to return to their job, assuming funding is available.

Pass this to your friends who think teaching is easy, and to the ones who know it is hard.

[author of this piece is unknown]

Skiing at Axamer-Lizum (2)

When we (Tim Forward and I, Caecilia Werth, and Liselotte Schartner) were done skiing at Axamer-Lizum and the slope up Birgitzkoepfl (and hiking up the mountain with our skis slung over our shoulders after a run), we had a wonderful shortcut home back to Innsbruck.

From the top of Birgitzkoepfl, you could take a gently downhill slope across the flank of a beautiful mountain called Nockspitze that eventually took you to the Muttere-Alm ski area. This was a long hike that crossed some areas with signs that warned "Lawine Gefahr!" --that is, avalanche danger. When they warned against avalanches in Tirol, they weren't fooling around. If you got caught in one, they would find your body under tons of snow, trees, rock, and mud--in the summer!

After this long cross-country hike, you got to ski down the slope at Mutters, until you reached the street car tracks. From there, it was a nice street car ride back to Innsbruck's Stadtzentrum. And from there, I could walk home to my pension in Schmelzergasse in less than a half hour.

All in all, a wonderful day of skiing!

Skiing at Axamer-Lizum, outside Innsbruck, Austria

I lived in Salzburg and then Innsbruck, Austria from August 1967 to June 1968, one of 36 guys in the University of Notre Dame's Innsbruck Study-Abroad Program. Recently I was thinking about one glorious day in late winter, probably March of 1968, when I skied with three friends at the spectacular ski area called Axamer-Lizum, about 10 miles outside the city of Innsbruck. My friends and I had skied often at Lizum (as we called it), where the Damenabfahrt (Women's Downhill) ski run from the 1964 Olympics took place. The ski area was at a very high elevation, with lifts going up a peek on one side called "Hoadl," and a lift going up the opposite side of the valley to "Birgitzkoepfl." On the eastern edge of this area was the most spectacular mountain scenery in Tirol--the incredible limestone spires called the Kalkkoegl (see photo above).

On this particular day, Tim Forward and I went skiing with two Austrian friends that we had met in Obergurgl, Austria when we were at a week-long youth ski school. These friends worked at a governmental office in Innsbruck called the "Forstlichebundesversuchsanstalt"--what a wonderful German name!--The Federal Institute for the Experimental Study of Forests--or something like that. These girls were Caecilia Werth (now known as Cilli Kirchmair) and Liselotte Schartner). Someone had jokingly warned us Americans never to invite an Austrian girl to go hiking (you'll end up on an exhausting day-long hike!); they should have warned us never to go skiing with Austrian girls. Because Caecilia and Liselotte couldn't afford to buy lift tickets. We spent the entire day hiking up Birgitzkoepfl and skiing down that slope--over and over again. We felt like we were the first people in the history of the world to ski that slope without ever buying a lift ticket (by American standards, the lift tickets weren't all that expensive; by Austrian standards of 1968, they were pretty dear).

[More coming!]

How Long does It Take to Become a College Professor?

Because there's so much talk about getting ridding of teacher unions and getting rid of tenure, I thought I'd like to write briefly about what is involved in becoming a college professor.

In short, it's a long and difficult process (not unlike many other professions). After the 13 years of K through 12 schooling, a future professor must get a bachelor's degree. That takes 4 to 5 years (increasingly, it's taking 5 years unless you know from the very beginning what you are going to major in). After getting a bachelor's degree, a future professor must get a master's degree. There are a few programs that can be done in maybe a year and a half (3 semesters), but more typical is two years, possibly even 3 years.

After getting a master's degree in some fields, you can begin to teach in college (but you probably wouldn't be competitive for a job). At my college, a typical English-professor search yields about 150 applications. Normally, only those with a Ph.D. in hand or someone who is "ABD" (All But Dissertation on the doctoral level) has a shot at getting an interview. We might interview 5 of the original 150 applicants; only one will get a job offer.

A doctoral program in English typically takes 4 to 7 years. After all the doctoral course work and comprehensive exams, the doctoral candidate must write a book-length dissertation--and then defend it before a committee of experts.

This whole process has taken from 10 years of college study to about 15 years. A person receiving his or here doctorate can easily be mid 30's when the doctorate is conferred (or much older!).


At that point, it would still be difficult to win a professorship. Most people then go into a period of part-time teaching, often at multiple colleges--for incredibly little pay. We have adjunct (part-time) professors who work at Lakeland Community College, John Carroll University, and Cuyahoga Community College--at the same time. For all their work, they might make less than $10,000 per semester, with no health benefits! This period of apprenticeship is difficult, poor-paying, and almost thankless--with no guaranteed future job.

So after 10-15 years of schooling and several years of part-time teaching, a person might be a good candidate for a professorship at my community college. But to do this he or she would have to go through a multi-level application process that often involves submitting a paper application and curriculum vitae, one telephone interview and two face-to-face interviews. These face-to-face interviews take place in front of a committee of 5 to 8 people and involve answering questions and doing a teaching demonstration.

If, after all that, someone is offered a professorship, that person would have to teach and do the other aspects of a professor's job for 4 to 6 years before being granted tenure. All that time as a non-tenured prof, he or she could be let go--and no reason has to be given (we have seen it happen!).

So all in all, it's a long hard slog to becoming a tenured professor. Good luck getting this accomplished before you are 40 or 45 years old!