Happy Halloween!

You can only be Thomas-the-Train when you're 3!

Don't even think about messing with the Melonheads of Kirtland today!

Oíche Shamhna--Halloween

The Irish called it Oíche Shamhna and we call it Halloween. The pronunciation of Oíche Shamhna is incredible, though it follows Irish orthographic and pronunciation rules. An approximation might be /EE-huh HOW-nuh/. Literally it means "the night or eve of Samhain." Samhain can mean the feast of November 1 (All Saints Day in the Christian calendar) and the word can also just mean "November."

We know it as the day the sharp line between the living and the dead is blurred. It's the day the Melonheads of Kirtland are out an about (and boy are they peeved--all the local teenagers driving down the road-that-I-shall-not-name, past the ruins of Dr. Crowe's burned-out mansion; and days of incredible weather, cold, ferocious winds and driving rain--no wonder the Melonheads are in a bad mood!). I'd just let them be. Don't take the risk!

I've had a few minor encounters with the Melonheads. Years ago I had one who was a student in one of my classes. And I've caught fleeting glimpses of them in the woods on the Chardon-Kirtland border. It's like seeing a deer running in the deep woods; you just aren't exactly sure what you are seeing.

American Beech tree by the Chagrin River and Mitchell Mills Road

The spectacular tree above is near the Holden Arboretum, one of the treasures of Northeast Ohio. In this photo you can see the Mitchell Mills bridge going over the Chagrin River.

This area is very close to the home of the Melonheads, and I think I glimpsed one of them as I drove over the bridge. Halloween is, of course, the time of the year for the Melonheads!

Thinking about the Melonheads of Kirtland/Chardon

Lately, as the winds of autumn howl and the bitter rain falls, as the maple leaves turn red and orange, my mind turns toward thoughts of the Melonheads that roam the deep woods along the Kirtland-Chardon border, where Lake County meets Geauga County, Ohio. I know, friend, that you've been thinking about this too. About these perverse, terrible, and unfortunate monsters, created by Dr. Crowe's despicable experiments, condemned to roam forever the forested hills and ravines of this part of Northeast Ohio.

Yes, friend, I know that you've gone looking for them too (as I first did as a teenager in 1964, with Gary Czyzynski, Jay Neidermeyer, Buster Zylowski, and other Euclid friends from the St. William's-Upson School neighborhood). What we saw was too terrible to reveal back then; in fact, I can barely write about it now.

I can't bring myself to tell you exactly where to look; it would disturb the peace of those unhappy, melon-headed souls and the few normal residents of the area. I wish I could dissuade you from looking. If you don't find them, you will be disappointed; if you do find them, you will have to carry this terror in your heart until you too feel the cold clay of the grave. The Melonheads are nothing to fool with. Not everyone comes back from searching for them. Others come back, but irreparably damaged by their new and terrible knowledge.

Take care, my friend.

p.s. I have 2 other posts on the Melonheads: one from October 30, 2010; and one from October 27, 2009 (that one with photos)

Beware the Melonheads This Halloween!

Since I live so near to the Chardon-Kirtland border, the wild woods where many of the local Melonheads are said to roam, I live in terror of Halloween. There are naysayers, sure. There are doubters. There are agnostics. But I have driven over "Crybaby Bridge" at midnight and heard their keening; I have driven over "Heartbeat Bridge," and felt their heartbeats and my own!

No, I don't doubt their existence. I have even caught fleeting glances of these enormous-headed "people," flitting from tree to tree in the deep woods along a branch of the Chagrin River. These restless souls, these creations of the evil Dr. Crowe, never at peace, wandering the woods--and scaring the bejeebers out of everyone in the area!

Be careful, my friend. Keep clear of the Melonheads of Kirtland-Chardon on this wicked holiday!

Melonheads of Kirtland/Chardon?

[Top photo: possibly "Heartbeat Bridge" near Kirtland-Chardon Road; middle: this might have been the site of Dr. Crowe's sanitarium, where the terrible experiments were conducted; bottom: near the Dr. Crowe site]

I know you believe in the Melonheads, just as I do. We know they come from somewhere near the Chardon-Kirtland border, where Geauga County meets Lake County. We even think we know the name of the road near their haunt. We know that old Dr. Crowe, with his evil brain experiments and genetic research, unleashed these monsters. We know about "Heartbeat Bridge," and how our hearts beat in terrible unison with the troll-like Melonheads that lurk beneath.

People often ask me if I have seen the Melonheads. The answer is not so straightforward. I began searching for them back in 1964, when I was 16 years old. Once, in the Kirtland woods on Halloween, I glimpsed dark, strange shapes hurrying through the forest near Heartbeat Bridge. I shined my flashlight on them and saw 4 pairs of red eyes and what seemed like gigantic heads. It's well known that Melonheads' eyes shine red in the dark (apparently a result of Dr. Crowe's genetic manipulations). So were these Melonheads? I think so, but I cannot be 100% sure.

Be careful around Halloween, my friend. Think twice about hunting for the Melonheads. We've all heard of the terrible things that have happened to those who hunt for the Melonheads and get trapped and tricked by these monsters. Take Care, my friend!

p.s. Is that Dr. Crowe's headstone in front of the house on Reynolds Road in Mentor-on-the-Lake (near Salida)? What other explanation could there be? How did the tombstone get there?

Astonishingly, there is a Wikipedia entry on the Melonheads. find it at this link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melon_heads

The article mentions "legendary stories" of Melonheads from Germany, England, Connecticut, Michigan, and Ohio. These might be "myths" or "legends" in these other places; but too many people around Kirtland and Chardon have firsthand encounters to use the terms "myth" or "legend."