I Reveal When the Universe Was Created (via a Poem)

“Mrs. Dempsey’s Big Secret: The Day the Universe Was Created

Mrs. Geraldine Dempsey, my ancient, white-haired 3rd Grade teacher,
Opened the classroom door, peered down the hallway
To see if anyone was snooping around, then
Closed the door and wrote this date on the blackboard: “4004 B.C.”

Under that she did some arithmetic: “4004 + 1956=5960”

And under that she wrote: “Sunday, October 23, 9 AM”


“4004 years before Jesus was born, boys and girls.
This is the year God created the universe.
Don’t tell anybody. This is a secret that you mustn’t reveal,
On pain of mortal sin.

It happened on October 23, at 9 in the morning.
I have that on good authority,
Bishop James Ussher of Ireland.

And if you do the arithmetic, boys and girls,
You’ll see that the universe is 5960 years old.”


Who knew that in St. William’s,
That parochial school on E. 260th in Euclid,
The universe’s biggest secret was revealed

At 9 A.M, Friday, October 23, 1956,
By our ancient Irish teacher
Who still believed in the fairies
Turned the saints to the wall when they didn’t answer prayers
And taught us all she knew about a medieval world soon to end?

(Robert M. Coughlin
September 12, 2005)